Divorce: Concluding Part (Doomsday conspiracy)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thanks again to all readers for some good positive response and suggestions. This is fourth and last part of this series, i have tried my best so hope you find it good. Happy Reading.
SCENE I :THE MOMENT ARRIVES
The city of Nagpur was retiring for the night, as sun set and gave way to darkness, street lamps glow and people throng back to their home after another working day comes to an end. Traffic was like any other customary day, packed with daily commuters as bus, cars, two-wheelers try to move ahead in normal moving traffic.
It was not usual evening in the life of Neha as she drove back home after long day work at office. She was full of excitement after day of work. She couldn’t stop smiling as she sang sitting in her black Honda City, life will never be same again for her. The moment for which she waited for years was finally here, she wanted to be with some one close to her. No one was closer to her than Rajeev, she wanted to join him at house as soon as possible, she wanted to fly, and she wanted to hug her hubby today. She was happy and lost in her thought, thinking that things will change from here on. She can see their martial life back on track. She was feeling the baby in side her womb, the feeling of mother hood, the best feeling a woman can have, a moment that every women waits, its re birth for them. It’s something very special which no writer or poet can describe neither any man can understand.

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.

She reaches home but finds room locked, so opens the door sits on sofa, thinks something, open her bag and see the medical report which doctor gave her today, she is excited to know that she is six weeks pregnant, she wanted to convey the message to Rajeev, thinks of calling him but then aborts the idea. She wanted to hug him and feel the excitement in his eyes, she waited.

Its 9pm, and the door bell rings. She rushes to gate and opens it in split of second, its Rajeev. She hugs him, she holds him tight, and Rajeev hardly had any clue on why she is doing so. He is amused. “What happened so excited and happy today” Rajeev asks her putting his hand on her back as she still holds her tight.
“Guess what it can be?” she now puts his head on his chest still clutching her tight with her hand.
“Promotion?” he says
“No” she moves and puts her hand on her neck and makes very affectionate eye contact
“Then?” Rajeev asks again.
“You would be soon be a father” she whispers in his ears and tickles it with her nose.
Rajeev is very happy, he is excited to know this, he puts up in his arms, looks at her and kisses on her forehead” aah!! I am so happy, when u came to know?”
To day while returning from office I had scheduled visit to doctor and she gave me this news” she says till swinging in his arms
And you didn’t called me, that’s not fair” he says smiling at her
“If I would have called you then how I would have seen your eyes filled with happiness, and how I would be in your arms” she says looking towards him.

Love was back in their life, conjectures how much a couple get nearer once they become parents, and they start adoring and caring more. It was same here. If not physical love then pure love filled Neha’s heart as she conversed to Rajeev, showing him the medical reports. Both were joyful. Rajeev decides to cook for her today as he enters the kitchen having very less hint about the things inside it. He still searches for it as Neha helps her out; both talk and make some food for themselves. They finish up cooking and after long time Rajeev feeds her with his hand and Neha is in tears again, this time out of delight,
seeing this Rajeev hugs her and says “ I know we waited for this moment for three years now, I am glad deity blessed us”
Neha says” yes, thanks to almighty”

Both finish food and sit and talk as cheerfulness and love re enters the house once again. Finally they had reason to be happy and something to look forward. Neha was no less in terms of beauty than Puja, she looked good and today even better as happiness inside the heart was glowing on her face, making her look even more gorgeous. She is putting a black salwaar kameez which nicely compliments her fair skin and long curly hair.

She lies on his lap as they after long time feel the urge to make love. She pulls him closer to her and holds him tight and kisses her with love as Rajeev gets lost in it. Soon they get lost in each other as peace, happiness and charm returned back to this house.

SCENE II DESPERATE MEASURES
Its moderate size cabin, as few files a desk top PC, a lap top, few files and a table calendar lies by the side of a pen holder. A picture of Mahatma Gandhi hangs on the wall behind the chair over looking Rajeev. He has been working in this office for last 6 years now as a Superintending Engineer and was more or less content with its work load and payment which company offered to him.
He is lost in his work as his mobile rings. Its Puja’s call and he receives it “I want to meet you now” puja says almost shouting on him
“I have some work, anything urgent” he enquires
“Yes, see me in 30 minutes at my home” she orders and replaces the phone.

Rajeev had no other option as he moves to parking lot takes his black TATA Safari and moves to her house. As he enters the house Puja is waiting for her. Rajeev enquires on what was the reason for such call. She says: “what you thought, you will play with me and as that bitch becomes mother you can leave me, if u has forgotten I divorced Abhisekh because of you, don’t you remember, you dare not think of leaving me”
Rajeev sits beside her and says: “what made you think so that I will leave you, have I ever said this to you?”
Puja: “don’t even dare to do so, I love you and can’t live without you” as she cuddles him
“I know” Rajeev says mildly as bewilderment now occupies his mind.
“So what’s our next move, it’s impossible that now she divorces you, what to do now?” puja asks restlessly
“I will try to get rid of her, let me see what we can do?” says Rajeev as he moves away from her looking out from window and watches kids playing in the adjoining park, he pulls out cigarette from his pocket and starts smoking, showing enough signs of being tensed, he now had no clue what to do next, he thinks that now that Neha is going to be a mother and he a father, how he can leave her at this crucial juncture?
Puja moves towards him and stand along side him and says “even I have kids and had husband but I divorced him, didn’t I?”
Rajeev taking another puff and says “hmm”

They talk for some time and its noon by then; both sit and plan something, as Rajeev meekly agrees to whatever she says. They had some plan in mind which Rajeev was ready to execute before Neha pregnancy report came but now it was tuff for him, it was very tuff leaving Neha now. As he realizes that he did a blunder, but now it’s too late, he is stuck between hard surface and rock.

Puja on other hand tries to convince him that time has come to execute their plan. She had cunning of fox. By virtue of which she got rid of her ex-husband and took huge compensation amount, as Abhisekh left her she now has Rajeev with her. She can easily do same to Rajeev as she what she did to Abhisekh. Rajeev can do the same to Puja as he did to her better half Neha. Its all mind game from here who so ever decides what is good for it, will come out of this trap. It’s not easy, it’s going to be tuff for both of them, they sit as stress and tension is evident on their face.

The room which was once occupied by love, romance, giggles and laughter presented a deadly look as smokes of cigarette and silence returns accompanied by lots of stress and strain. Finally they agree on some thing and now its just matter of time before they execute their plan. A plan that will decide how both move from here on, A plan which will decide whose love is powerful, A plan which would prove out to be mother of all conspiracies, DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY…..

In fact, one thing that I have noticed . . . is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.

SCENE III LOTS HAPPENING IN HERE
It’s a home where bliss has returned after long time, the home which looked bleak once was bursting with joy; Neha was cheerful, a lot. She altered the look of the house, adorned it differently, altered the curtains, furniture and the interiors of the house, a large picture of a kid hangs on the wall as she looks towards, probably hoping that her baby looks like poster kid, she get lost in her thought again, Rajeev has been caring more for her since they heard the good news. Life seemed to be getting back on track as she was happy that Rajeev loves and cares for him now, Puja was last thing on her mind.

The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up. All of us have had the experience of a sudden joy that came when nothing in the world had forewarned us of its coming - a joy so thrilling that if it was born of misery we remembered even the misery with tenderness. She waits for him to arrive as she has taken leave from office to change the look of the house.

Its 7pm and Rajeev is back home, yes he is back on time. He is surprised to see the interiors of the house being changed with in day. He looks here and there and says “Is it our house? You changed so many things, it’s looking much better, and the picture of the baby is so nice!”

Neha is full of joy to hear lovely words from her better half” you liked it” she enquires

“Yes, it’s looking beautiful like you” he hugs her
Neha: “oh am glad that you liked it”
“Where is kitchen, its there only or you shifted it to some where else?” Rajeev says as he smiles
“No, just changed bed room and drawing room” she says
“Oh bed room also? Let me see” Rajeev says as he moves towards bed room He is again surprised to se the beautiful changes in their house: “oh you beauty!! thats good work my sweet heart! I am glad!”
Neha” sure?”
Rajeev “damnn sure!!”

Happiness can bring positive changes in our life; this was evident from Neha’s face and their house now. When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him; and you are torn by the thought of the unhappiness and night you cast, by the mere fact of living, in the hearts you encounter. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions.

We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves. The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

They both sit and converse in their changed look of the room, the curtain is now of light pink with lots of small blue flowers on it, the light lamp has changed, the new one looks more elegant and attracting with blue light illuminating from it, the picture on the wall has also been changed and now a picture of a mother holding her baby hangs and looms large on the room,.

Neha never looked so striking and cheerful and she had every rationale to be joyful. She is putting on a lower with Black T shirt as Rajeev lies on her lap doting her charming beauty, both found the vanished and much needed love, Neha’s hair falls on his face as she sits and Rajeev lies on her legs, Neha wants to have some chocolate so Rajeev gets up and gets some from kitchen as they take some liquid chocolate with strawberry, he feeds stawberry dipped in liquid chocolate, he puts some on her nose and chicks and kisses her after that, soon Neha forgets that she was hungry & wanted to have chocolate and gets lost in him holding him tight in her arms and sits on his leg as Rajeev back faces the wall, she holds her closer to him, probably tying to get the feeling which she missed so much all these days.

He kisses her and soon she is in his arms as both have some great moments together. Soon love and romance engulfs the room as they continue making love, Rajeev is kissing her on the back as she gets tickled and giggles, turns her face towards him brings him further close to herself and allows him to do what ever he wants. She holds him tight and moves her soft fingers on his back. The love and care has this meaning also, Neha reminds herself.

After few moments Rajeev is on her belly, keeping his eyes closed as Neha looks towards him and asks “U slept off?”
Rajeev opens his eyes and bites her belly delicately and says “no am trying to snoop and know what my little genius is doing inside” and kisses her belly and moves his lips and hands over it.
Neha putting her hand on Rajeev’s hand and pulls him towards her and holds him closer to her neck and says “let him rest, you come here my little brat”
He rubs his nose to that of hers and bites her neck as they laugh and enjoy some precious moments of their life.

Life seems to be back to normal but for how long?
A couple should be a lovers first as lovers are careless. They are not bothered with the demands of the world. All the cares dissolve down into the substance of the lover. The entire universe gets secreted into the being of that person. Nothing seems important other than the lover. The hustle-bustle of the larger life ceases. All other significant relations - parents, siblings, friends, colleagues - are silenced; their existence reduced down to the melodious hum of the surrounding traffic that whirrs dreamily around the circumference of the garden. Everyone and everything is forgotten.

SCENE IV DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY
It’s a well festooned bed room in suburbs of Nagpur as a tedious and fatal stillness occupies the house. Puja was feeling abandoned, as curtain flew touching her hair which was once played by Abhisekh & later by Rajeev. Physical adore and attractions doesn’t last for ever, true love accompanied by physical one surely does. It’s all about which one is your precedence, if someone prioritize the physical it got to be lost some time or other.

Loneliness is the most terrible poverty. Puja lies on bed and thinks “I need him back any how”. She had so many different personalities in her and she still feels lonely. The lonely become either thoughtful or empty. She has become empty. A hollow human, she sees herself in the mirror and can see a stranger in front of her, she finds hard to locate herself.

She sits and peeps out of window looking into the darkness of the city, city is sleeping as she wanders like a lonely soul in the house. Its 11pm, she tries watching TV switches it on but again gets lost in her thoughts, thinks of calling Rajeev but soon aborts the idea. She sits with hand on her head, makes coffee for herself as TV continues playing some song with no viewer. She takes coffee and goes to bed, tries sleeping but in vain.

By then its 12 am, she suddenly hears some sound in the kitchen and moves towards it, she comes back after analyzing kitchen and comes back, she couldn’t see the broken window pane and lies again. She sees a shadow moving towards her. Before she could understand & react it covers her face with a cloth soon she is unconscious, the shadow sits in front of her as she lies cataleptic on her bed, 'the stranger' in the house now acts fast, takes a big knife of her black over-coat, sits and thinks for a while and gazes at Puja, looks at heaven and chops her throat, her face was brutally attacked by knife several times, she was in pool of blood, the face which once attracted many, bored a dreaded look.

The shadow leaves the place as puja’s body lies un-attainted and blood covers the bed and drops of it covers the carpet, soon the color of blood changes from red to dark brown. Her hair is drenched in blood. It’s a murder committed by some one who loathed (hated) her most in this world.
NEXT MORNING: WHO WAS IT?
The house maid discovers that after constant banging Puja is not reacting she calls neighbors who in turn calls the police, police breaks the door and sees Puja’s dead body lies in pool of black blood and her face has gone dark blue and almost beyond recognition. Police takes body in their custody and collect the evidence and find that it’s well planned brutal murder.

There appears to be at least 2 rings, a watch and possibly a necklace. All are obviously feminine jewellery. The neighbor standing at the edge of the bed was staring in horrified silence, too stunned to speak. The scene that lay before them was grotesque, a primeval nightmare dredged up from some deep, dark depths of primitive man's collective unconscious. Each witness had a different reaction. One fainted. A second one vomited. A woman was shaking uncontrollably. Another one thought: I'm going to have a heart attack! The elderly catholic clutched his beads and crossed himself.

Later police calls Neha, Rajeev, Abhisekh, Neha’s parents, house maid and few neighbors to police station as interrogation goes on and there was lots of questions all have to face. After detailing what family, friends and the police know about the case The police have some clue but they haven’t concluded any thing as yet.

Rajeev and Neha are back in their house. They were terrorized by this atrocious slaughter; Neha can’t forget Puja’s dreaded face. She is restless so is Rajeev, they seem to be falling in some real problem. It’s been days now since police keep on calling them and many others to police station for cross-examination. Life has taken torrid turn. Its again back to stress and strain.

SCENE V MYSTERY UNFOLDS
The three obvious person they though could have committed the crime where :-
Rajeev: Because he now was back in love with his wife Neha and could have done that or get it done by some one as he wanted to get back into his family life.
Abhisekh: Because he was divorced away by Puja and he knew about the extra martial affair and has to pay huge amount as compensation money.
Neha: Because she was most jealous of her and as Puja ruined her life and moreover Neha tried once killing Puja and police knew about this incident during investigation. So neha remained prime suspect but police didn’t rules out other two or even any fourth. But they have to prove in court of law, which was not going to be easy as court of law goes by evidence
.
Police officer discus all these after days of inspection and cross questioning Neha sitting in interrogation room with some lady constable and a woman IPS officer, Shilpi Srivastav questions her, sitting by the side is SSP crime branch, IPS Khan and few other officers.

SP Shilpi to Neha: “Do you have a gun or a revolver, a German mauser?”
Neha is now three month pregnant and very stressed out for obvious reasonyes, buts in My Husband Rajeev Sehgal’s name”

SP Shipi:” and he has license?”

Neha:”yes”

SP Shipi: “ Where is it?”, neha shows her the license as she knew police now have discovered that she once pointed the gun towards Puja and this question will arise so she carried the license paper with her.

SP Shipi: “Did u ever use it to threaten any one, or did u even carried with you any time in your life?”

Neha: “yes”, listening this lady IPS officer shouts on her, “and don’t you know that’s a crime carrying a gun which is not licensed in your name”
She continues “you pointed out Rajeev Sehgal’s Mauser to him, isn’t it? Why you wanted to kill her, because she had an extra-martial affair with Rajeev Sehgal? Why you killed her and how?”

Listening this she bursts into tears and says as voice her chocked in her throat “ I did pointed out once but I haven’t killed her, I haven’t, trust me” she pleads in front of her.

Lots of questioning and cross examination continue for several hours. Police interrogation can be a nightmare they don’t spare any one, even though Neha was pregnant they continuously called her for questioning. Neha leaves for home with Rajeev after questioning completes.

Next day it was Rajeev turn
The statement of Rajeev indicates that the he believes that locking the door requires more than just shutting the door, i.e. turning a key or putting on a latch chain. In fact the door is self-locking, it locks on closing. The evidence doesn't suggest that the door wasn't closed, but that it wasn't locked. Yet other officer says the killer came through an unlocked door while one insists that someone let the killer in.
“Which scenario should we accept?” Says officer Khan, a senior one with lots of experiences in all these cases “If you provide enough different versions of course one will be correct.” Investigating officer Khan to Rajeev Rajeev later reiterates that the version Maid is telling them is correct and that the knife wasn’t recovered so police were yet to recover that.
Rajeev leaves the interrogation room as officer Khan and Godbole discuss the case

Now it’s Abhisekh in the interrogation room
While saying that it wasn't a huge knife, the knife he indicates is most definitely a big knife. This ambiguous segment covers no matter how big the knife was. His actions indicate a big knife but words indicate one that isn't big. He is covering all possible options. The knife was either big or not big. How can he lose? If he (Rajeev) has murdered Puja.” Says another officer as they smoke out few puffs.

The important thing that Abhisekh admits here is "I don't know..." If I said "I don't know whether Hitler owned a cat", it can't be claimed that I know something about Hitler and cats. I am professing ignorance” says khan as he calls abhisekh tomorrow again for further questioning.

As officers discuss that Rajeev and Neha are not disclosing about their relationships with puja. But when Rajeev does it with the phone house-maid turns it in to a positive statement. Also several examination the phone was seen lying on the floor, the receiver off the hook and covered in blood. There is no police evidence that the phone was used or cut off. In fact her ex-partner abhisekh said that his mother rang Puja and got no reply and assumed Puja had gone to bed (the phone call records suggested that puja did had missed call that night at 12:30 am, that is after she was killed).
Thus the landline phone was not off the hook as the production team showed in their completely bogus reenactment. Also the phone was evidently in the lounge and Puja was killed in the bed room. If she had attempted to use it after the killer left she would not have crawled badly injured back into the kitchen to die. She was dragged to kitchen or it was an attempt to mislead the police. How some one can gain consciousness after such a brutal murder, it’s impossible. There was no physical evidence that Puja left the bed room once the attack began. The stains of the blood covered phone are pure invention by the production team, designed to support Abhisekh’s statement. In a court of law this would be described as falsifying evidence in order to sway the jury. Officer Khan is omitting any violent struggle in bed room, as post mortem report suggested that she was made unconscious by using chloroform.

Yet forgets that the house has been extensively remodeled. There was a passage where he is standing and a wall has been removed to make the passage and lounge one room. Also the wall between the passage, lounge and kitchen has been removed. The wall displays were most probably not even there then. The struggle could not have happened as he described it. Also there was no evidence that the attack occurred anywhere but in the bed room. The senior officer was informed that they were investigating an unsolved murder. Investigating officers were able to reach some conclusion after one month of murder. They thoroughly examined the case and finally it seemed to be sorting out in the court of law.

The police have found that Abhsekh paid huge amount as compensation money and was aware of the extra-martial affair of Puja, also that the affair was physical in nature. Their kids were abandoned in boarding school as Abhisekh life turned into misery and Puja continued having some great time together. In fact before the pregnancy report of Neha, Rajeev and Puja have planned to get Rajeev divorce his wife puja on this very reason but once she was expecting the kid, they shifted to plan B which was killing Neha by a hired killer, but Rajeev was not in favor of this as he re discovered the lost love and charm in their life.

So puja was restless, she wanted to kill Neha anyhow even if that meant Rajeev is not part of it, she was about to execute this before that night when she herself was brutally murdered.

This is how it was all sorted out.
The investigating team found that she was attacked several times with knife even after she died, her face was cut several times with knife and this made evident that it was done by someone who hated her like hell. Police came to know that once neha tried to kill her with her licensed gun so the first finger pointed to wards neha and she had reason as Puja ruined her life, so police thoroughly examined it but couldn’t find any trace of Neha’s involvement in the case.
Next in line was Rajeev, as after Neha got pregnant, he started moving away from Puja and he re-discovered the love in Neha again so again investigating officer concluded that it can be Rajeev, he might not have done it himself but could have hired a professional killer. Neha could have done the same.

The day she was murdered, abhisekh entered the room, yes abhisekh, her ex-husband, he knew all the settings of the room and was probably only after Rajeev who knew all but everything about the house. He enter by kitchen, cutting the window pane slowly to avoid any noise, sound of TV helped his cause. But moment he enters a steel glass falls down and Puja comes to kitchen, he climbs to the upper shelf just above the wall which had door to avoid any contact with Puja He was almost caught but puja couldn’t see the broken window pane as it was not in front of door but adjoining the wall which had door.

He covers his face in case he is not able to execute it and needed to escape, he comes to bed room and sees puja lying and covers Puja’s face with chloroform soaked cloth, she is soon unconscious and this made his plan’s execution much easier. He then brutally murders her with knife which was later discovered by police on the way to his place as he threw it after cleaning it.
He washed his hand and wiped out finger prints but he committed one mistake he forget to recollect the cloth which he soaked in chloroform, as it lied under Puja’s back and police recovered it after the brutal murder. It was difficult to get finger print of the cloth as it was soaked in blood but although it took time the forensic team was able to disclose the finger prints and it matched with Abhisekh’s.

After days of court sittings abhisekh’s admits his crime as police had enough evidence for the same. So police proved abhisekhs involvement in the court of law and court sends him to life imprisonment.
6 MONTHS LATER
Neha gave birth to baby girl, as sweet and charming like her. Rajeev and Neha named her Pari, now they live with more love and care and slowly things settled down as life returned to normalcy
About the writer:
Who? me aah! Just another one in crowd, falling, getting up and moving on.

118 comments:

Dr. Neha Srivastav said...

That was nice reading, It was slightly confusing at the end as i needed to read it twice. But understodd that it got elongated as you needed to explain the mystery.

First scene was good this description of motherhood was outstanding

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.

Liked it
lovely readinf this
Regards

Dr. Pragya bajaj said...

as me and neha sat and read it, i disagreed with her as i didnt find its confusing at any point. It was well explained and was very much required. so i liked it a lot.

The romantic scene was too good as always. Liked it. The description of mother hood was also good.

Over all it was slighly unfair as puja dies and rajeev survived as he was also endulged in ectra-martial affairs. but cud not see any better ending so will go with ur judgement.

Regards

Alec said...

that was good read. Slighly unfair with Rajiv but it was good judgement to say the least.

Liked the end- climax revealing part, hint of sherlock there and it was very well explained. This end i never thought as i guessed it wud be a happy ending
Loved reading all the parts.
Regards

Anonymous said...

nice reading mystery part well explained. Great fiction

Prachi Pandey said...

that was good read. Liked the mother hood explanation and the excitement induced in neha in firstscene, it was gr8 reading lines on mother hood.

Love scene was again good. So was mystery explanation. In fact i liked the last scene most and could see how and why you want to become a civil servant.

Puja killing was fair enough , slightly unfair as Rajeev survived

over all excellent reading it
Regards

Er. Nidhi Mishra said...

agree with nehathat it was slightly difficult understanding the last aprt as i also needed to read it twice.

In my opinion it could have been shorter. The first scene stood out for me. The first 3 para was heart and soul of this part.

Liked these lines
She was happy and lost in her thought, thinking that things will change from here on. She can see their martial life back on track. She was feeling the baby in side her womb, the feeling of mother hood, the best feeling a woman can have, a moment that every women waits, its re birth for them. It’s something very special which no writer or poet can describe neither any man can understand.

well written
Regards

Anonymous said...

excellent writting skill liked this lines most

We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves. The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

Regards

अविनाश said...

@Dr neha
well it might be confusing but needed to explain and put the fingeron neha so that suspense remains till end. Thx for commnenting and reading
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Dr Pragya
Thx pragya for ur appreciation and comment
regards

अविनाश said...

@alec
Thanks alec for reading the entire fiction ebcouragement, comment & mail
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Prachi
Puja was killed as any how she was divorced, bringing Rajeev and Puja together meant that 4 lives were spoiled instead of 2, so that was an attempt to minimise the damage, so just nailed the life of those which were allready in misery. Neha got2 live a good life as she remained loyal throughout.
Thx 4 reading and ur valuable comments.

Regards

अविनाश said...

@Nidhi
It might have been difficult but as i said explanation was needed, could not have afforded to jump into conclusion so fast.
Thanks for coments
Regards

Puja said...

that was nice reading.
Wonder how despite being a man you understand woman feeling on mother hood and wrote such lovely lines for me that was best part. Loved the way you explained the climax ant it was supposed to be long but understood

U again stood out with ur romantic expressions

Good reading all the parts
Regards

Er. Snigddha Aggarwal said...

sorry to say but its ver difficult understanding the lasr few para of last scene may be becoz m not from IIT :-)
will surely read it again as i am in office.

Rest all was outstanding
Regards

Anonymous said...

nice reading.
Regards

Dr.Nishi Chauhan said...

That was nice reading avi.

Disagree with neha and snigdha as i cudnt find difficult understanding it.

Liked the roamntic part but the 4 me 1st part stood out this time liked these lines most

She was happy and lost in her thought, thinking that things will change from here on. She can see their martial life back on track. She was feeling the baby in side her womb, the feeling of mother hood, the best feeling a woman can have, a moment that every women waits, its re birth for them. It’s something very special which no writer or poet can describe neither any man can understand.

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.

Gr8 lines

Regards

Anonymous said...

nice reading it

Anonymous said...

liked thses lines, its outstanding

We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves. The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.


Regards

Dr. Aradhna said...

Sorry avinash but i agrre with Neha, sniggdha & Nidhi, it was long the last scene without much of use as Abhsekh involvement during police interrogration was NOT dealt with properly, the interrogration n Questioning with Abhisekh should have been given emphasis, at times it was difficult 2 understand in last scene on what u are trying to explain.Despite teh fact that last para was good, things looked messy in first half of last scene.

Reast was very good the motherhood explanation and cheer u induced in Neha was too good.

Romance was again dealt with very much of love and delicacy.

Loved the murder scene.

Good reading

Regards

Anonymous said...

Puja was not required

Dr. Palki Vajpayee said...

Since u sucessfuly brought Rajeev & Neha to gether you should have tried to bring Abhisekh & Puja together, since it wud have made happy ending and puja murder could have been omitted.

I know you will have your own opinion. But thats wat i thought.

First scene was well described, could'nt imagine a man can describe a motherhood so nicely. Hats off to u for that.Words were perfectly choosen to describe the feeling of to be Mother.

Romantic scene was well scripted and described. Liked it a lot. It was amazingly superb.

Climax could have been better.

Overall good reading all the four parts.

Regards

Anonymous said...

puja murder was completely uncalled for. ending could easily have been happier

अविनाश said...

@Puja
Thanks for appreciation and ur valuable comments
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Snigddha
Hope u get it when it read it next time
Regards

अविनाश said...

@ Dr Aradhana
Puja was killed as any how she was divorced, bringing Rajeev and Puja together meant that 4 lives were spoiled instead of 2, so that was an attempt to minimise the damage, so just nailed the life of those which were allready in misery. Neha got2 live a good life as she remained loyal throughout.

Thx 4 reading and ur valuable comments.

अविनाश said...

@ Dr Palki
yes doc ur suggestion was one of three option i had in my mind, i choosed the middle one that is neither too distarous nor very happ filmi ending

Thanks for your opinion and appreciation
Regads

Kalyani said...

Avi,
No doubt u r an awesome writer!!! Explanation about motherhood is superb.The picture looks very nice.

I din't liked Puja's murder.As Puja realized her mistake both Puja and Abhi might have started living together again.

Prachi Pandey said...

ok if u are justifying ur conclusion that puja was killed bcoz she had Extra-Martial affir, then avi, Rajeev was too involved in it, wanthe? this gender bias at its best.

Sorry to use the hard words BUT i didnt liked the poor Puja being punished and Rajeev have good time with both the ladies. and leading a good life later on with Neha.

Any way motherhood explanaion was good so was romance.Liked thse lines on motherhod.

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.


Was good reading
Regards

Rohit Sharma said...

ओ तेरी तो! यहा तो लड़ाई शुरू हो गया अवी यार. तूने पूजा को मारा अब तुझे लड़कियाँ कच्चा चबा जाएँगी. इनके बस का कहा मर्डर मिस्टेरी समझना? इनको तो बस रोमॅंटिक बातें पढ़वा लो. स्नीगी तेरे को समझ मे नही आने का ये सस्पेनस. भाई तूने बिल्कुल सही किया हम तेरे साथ हू इस बार.लगे रहो :-)

Rohit Sharma said...

छोड़ना मत्त पकड़े रहना
:-)

Ashok said...

Read all the opinions/comments, agree with Dr Palki most, she has got most reasonable comment but again everyone have thier own. Prach is also right its gender bias as Rajeev was also part of this extra-martial episode.

Could'nt understand why some one like Neha Nidhi ans Snigdha couldnot under stand the last scene as in my opinon that was best dealt with in this episode. The police inetrogration was nicely executes by you avinash.

Liked it. Was a very good Read
Take care

Anonymous said...

OUTSTANDING desription here in these lines:-
There appears to be at least 2 rings, a watch and possibly a necklace. All are obviously feminine jewellery. The neighbor standing at the edge of the bed was staring in horrified silence, too stunned to speak. The scene that lay before them was grotesque, a primeval nightmare dredged up from some deep, dark depths of primitive man's collective unconscious. Each witness had a different reaction. One fainted. A second one vomited. A woman was shaking uncontrollably. Another one thought: I'm going to have a heart attack! The elderly catholic clutched his beads and crossed himself.
and here:-

She was happy and lost in her thought, thinking that things will change from here on. She can see their martial life back on track. She was feeling the baby in side her womb, the feeling of mother hood, the best feeling a woman can have, a moment that every women waits, its re birth for them. It’s something very special which no writer or poet can describe neither any man can understand.

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.

Excellent writting skills.
Regards

Anonymous said...

gr8 reading.the murder mystery was wll explianed and was worth reading
regards

Er. Paayal Sharma said...

liked the motherhood explanation mot. Romance was agian well dealt with. Couldnot understand the need to kill Puja and let Rajeev free.

Agree with Palki,Kalyani and Ashok as they have best points.

Prachitoo have a genuine point. Di u willingly did Gender Bias? If its so its not good avinash as both rajeev was part on extra-martial affair. So why only Puja was punished? why not Rajeev?

Murder mystery was very well explained as you had clear plot in your mind, last scene was also very good.

Over all good reading
Regards

Anouska Awasthi said...

End could have been much better. Not at all good end. Cant say any thing more than that. You disappointed me.
Regards

Anonymous said...

nice read. Good work
excellent wtiiting skills.
outstanding vocabulary
Superb!!

Austeen Sufi said...

excellent writting skilss no matter what ever conclusion is, one thing you also know sir, we cant make evry one happy, this evident from readers comments

Regards

jayaka said...

Very very nice creation to read!....very touching and interesting too!

Shilpi Verma said...

read all parts today, must say u write very well sir.
Regards

Anonymous said...

Good work,very nicely written

Shreya Rajput said...

The first scene was superb, with excellent mother hodd description nad the joy infused in neha was outstanding, the words and sentence u made and choosed was amazing.

Second scene was also good. The murder scene was well scripted & presented but somehow think that you could have ended in much better way.

Whatever comment i can see now Dr.Palki suggestion seems 2be the best one.
But you must have ur own reason so will say that it was good but again it could have been much better.

Excellent vocabulary, sentence formation, phrase, conversion of idea into thought and some gr8 writting skills.

But this time describing to be mothers delight shadowed ur best ability that is describing romance.

Keep it Up!!
Regards

Anonymous said...

that was very nice reading
Regards

Swati said...

liked the Motherhood description, this time it completely even overshadowed the romantic scene. Was wondering how a man can understnd a feeling of motherhood. seems u r very emotional persona.

Liked the murder mystery description as it was very well disclosed and in good sequence, so here i disagree with those who coul;dnt understand the alst scene.

End could surely have been better but it takes nothing from you and you remain...infact improved your writting skills drastically from first part, in matter of few days. this is excellent

Regards

अविनाश said...

@prachi
it wasnt that i had gender bias in mind while writting the last part, it wasnt intentional.
thanks for ur precious comment
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Ashok
Yes ashok Palki has most valid reason and best conclusion
Regards

अविनाश said...

@paayal & anouska
sorry i disappointed both of u
Regards

अविनाश said...

@ Austin, jayka & Shilpi
thanks 4 ur valuable comment
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Shreya
tahnks 4 ur comment,thats the end that was in my mind
regards

अविनाश said...

@Swaiti
thanks for ur valuable comment, end cud have been better, agree but even cud have been worse...
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Kalyani
i think i disappointed u too, will try something better next time.
Regards

Anonymous said...

well written
Regards

Shalini Chopra said...

First of all writting skill was good & it improved with every part. Secondly i didnt find last part confusng, in fact it was well explained and ececuted to perfection. dont know why some find its confusing or messy.

Motherhood desription was outstanding, romance part was nicely dealt with, yes yet again.

Now coming to the end, it cud have been better BUT it cud have been worse too. so i am happy no complains in that regard in fact in any regard, i am throughly impressed and agreed with ur judgement.

Excellent writting skill. Lovely fiction. will wait for next one
Regards sir

Tulip Banerjee said...

liked this lines most

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.


Its amazing hw u described a feminine feeling with some good use of words. Kudos!!

It was great reading all the parts.
Will wait for ur next fiction
Regards

Tracy said...

Good fiction, nice writting skills, immense vocabulary, great reading.

First scene stood out in this part, where u described the feeling of mothehodd n still said no writer or poet can describe BUT u did.

Romance was agin really good, complete wonder land tour while reading that.

The last dramatic scen and murder was well explained. Suspense was kept till last few para. Give thought to writting novel and start with a romantic one, and i am serious. U write poetry also that will help u in this cause.

Lovely reading all parts.
Thnaks for sharing ur lovely fiction
Regards

Anonymous said...

liked this lines most

A couple should be a lovers first as lovers are careless. They are not bothered with the demands of the world. All the cares dissolve down into the substance of the lover. The entire universe gets secreted into the being of that person. Nothing seems important other than the lover. The hustle-bustle of the larger life ceases. All other significant relations - parents, siblings, friends, colleagues - are silenced; their existence reduced down to the melodious hum of the surrounding traffic that whirrs dreamily around the circumference of the garden. Everyone and everything is forgotten

AND this one

We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves. The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.


Excellent hats off
Regards

tripti said...

Well done Avinash!!get going !!Exepecting even better next time :-)

Atul Sharma said...

GOOD STORY AND EXCELLENT WRITING SKILL.

Mehnaaz said...

No doubt that u write well and it was a gr8 reading this lovely fiction. I dont want to mention on on how end could have ended, as ery one will have their opinion. so will go by ur judgement.

Staring with first scene of this part, motherhodd was described with perfection. cant believe u wrote fiction for the first time! The words u choosed & sSentenced u formed to descrbe the excitement and joy of neha was outstanding.

The romance was agian at its best, the most precious moments were described with perfection and i am not talking only about physical aspect of love which u described wonderfully but even better was abstract feeling going inside Neha's heart, you did came with your best short when you described her feelings. that was really some good effort.

The desperate measure's scene was again good, u did nice work in describing puja's restless approach.

the murder part and the interrogration that followed was as clear as writting on the wall. I didnt find it messy or for that matter confusing atany point in the entire last scene. wont agree or disagree with anyone , just saying what i felt.

now you have got a big fan in me, so give some serious thought on novel writting, i think you will surely come outwith your best.

have a nice weekend sir
Regards

Anonymous said...

that was nice reading
regards

Richa Saxena said...

u r agood writer sir It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop.

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.


Excellent reading the entire fiction
Regards

Ria Taneja said...

Verywell written..liked reading all the parts.
Regards

Anonymous said...

good fiction, a drama well executed
Regards

Anonymous said...

these lines were too good

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world. The fact that all woman are trained to be mothers from infancy on means that they are all trained to devote our lives to men, whether they are their sons or not; that we are all trained to force other women to exemplify the lack of qualities which characterizes the cultural construct of femininity.

अल्पना वर्मा said...

short of time...Will read both parts later Avinash..tomorrow ,i will tell u my views about this story :)

nidhi said...

congrats yaar
yeah 1 amng d crowd who thnk diff than d crowd.... lkd it specially d xcitmnt of neha.u explaind tht nicely....the end ws nice bt it cud b bttr.u hv done a gr88 job
keep it uppppppppp
Regards

Rashmi said...

well written, good reading it
Regards

Preeti said...

nice readin all the parts, very well written, it was grat all the parts specially 3rd & 4th
Regards

Anonymous said...

great reading, excellent writting skills
Regards

Priya Talwar said...

Thx ya for sharing your wonderful story with us. Doesnt seem you are writting fiction for first time. U wrote too well and improved with every part. With best in this one.

Wonder how despite being a man you understand woman feeling on mother hood and wrote such lovely lines for me that was best part. Loved the way you explained the climax ant it was supposed to be long but understood.

Could'nt understand why some one like Neha Nidhi ans Snigdha couldnot under stand the last scene as in my opinon that was best dealt with in this episode. The police inetrogration was nicely executes by you avinash.

excellent writting skilss no matter what ever conclusion is, one thing you also know sir, we cant make evry one happy, this evident from readers comments

REGARDS

अविनाश said...

@Shalini
Thanks 4 ur reading n comment, end cud have been better but cud have been worse too.
Thanks 4 suggestions
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Tulip
Thax 4 ur comments and aprreciation
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Tripti
Thanks mam 4 ur comments,suggestion and help in writting the fiction
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Atul
Thanks for reading n visit to the blog
Regards

अविनाश said...

@mehnazz
Thank a lot for applaudingthe norwmal writting skill of mine
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Ria
Thanks for reading n comment
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Alpana Verma
Read when evr u get time, will wait 2 know hw you find it
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Nidhi
Thanks 4 redaing n suggesting the end part
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Rsahmi
Thanks 4 ur vist to the blog and comments

अविनाश said...

@preeti
Thanks 4 ur valuable comments
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Priya
Thanks a lot for encouragement, comment and suggestions
Regards

Anonymous said...

all the parts were equally well, nicely written

Regards

Anonymous said...

Liked ur writting skill n selection of word to express human emotions
Regards

Anonymous said...

well written
Keep it up

Ritika Pandey said...

Never Knew my brother is such a wonderful writer. Very well written sonu
Take Care

अविनाश said...

@Kritika di
Thanks didi 4 ur visit n ur comment
Regards

Er. Snigddha Aggarwal said...

well avinash
i read it again, got the last scene but it cud have been shorter and more over precise.

Any ways it was good fiction over all liked ur writting skills, i read the last scene twice, hind of high quality detective story, which was in complete contrast to the rest of the story

Loved reading it
Take care

Anonymous said...

nice fiction, well written
Regards

[Ragini]. said...

Ohkkk... so as i assumed it, a bitter and tragic end it had finally. on the whole i found part 3 the best of all. this time also u excelled at describing the romance and seen-setting. u managed to infuse soul into the joy of motherhood Neha experiences and brought out her happiness as good as u were able to bring out her raging anger during the revolver scene.

I could not help but marvel at the meticulous n sensitive way u have written the motherhood paragraph... still.... i feel u could have done without it and some more similar paras when writing fiction.... as they are lending an 'essayish' tone to the fiction. this could have also helped u to curb prolixity.

And, finally though nothing to do with the on-going gender war, still i agree with Dr. Palki...Puja did get a rough treatment even when Rajeev was equally at fault.


A brilliant effort in totality.... made for a nice read. Try ur hand writing a love story soon. Keep posting.
Regards

Anonymous said...

gr8 read all d parts
regards

Jyoti Dixit said...

It was good read even though its had ragic end but it doesn'nt take any thing from ur good writting skills. Its was very well written, ploted and executed.

The story cud have been ended in many diffrent ways and every times some one or other wud have complained so i go with ur judgement due to simple fact that u cant make evry one happy.

After all parts, romance is ur key part in writting, then expressing human emotions, humor and more other qulities is visible in ur writting.

Looking forward to some more fiction from you.

Good work!

Keep it up!!
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Snigddha
Thanks again for ur support,suggestion and comments
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Ragini
Thanks Rags for us read,comments & suggestions.
Will surely keep the suggestion in mind when i write next time.
Regards

अविनाश said...

@jyoti
Thanks for reading , comment,appreciatin and supportive words.
Regards

Ritu said...

I think u choosed the middle path when u sorted ended the story, it would have been better if it was in extreme ends rather than this moderate end, by extreme i mean bringing all 4 in places or killing all like othello. since fiction is conventional writing so happy ending would have been good.

Also, since u were narrating the story & not part of it, so it would been in one tense, in some places u mixed both path tense & present tense in same scene or part.

Also since story was not too long description and narration should/could have been smaal & you should have been focussed on attaching one part to another in sequence. Narration was reuired only at 2 or max 3 place, rest should have been sequence.

At some parts there was grammatical mistakes, so you should in making les mistakes and do editing twice befoe publishing.

Over all since u wrote for 1st time it was good. I am sure you will improve. Looking forward to more.

All the best wishes
Regards

अनु मिश्रा said...

Description was overdone at times, some where it appeared that it was more of narrated story than a fiction. Conversation and narration should have well balance or i should say proportion should have been balance with more emphasis on conversation and less on narration.

And in fiction writting u sud be knowing about the reader following you, the happy ending is what every one loves or othello ending as suggested by Ritu.

Every story has a message, i think u messed up with this as one of the 2 commiting sin was punished while other escaped white collared. If the message was that when u do wrong u are punished than both Rajeev and Puja should have been punished. The message was not at all conveyed.

Also one possible end was punishing both un-loyal i.e, Rajeev & Puja and loyal ones i.e, Neha & Abhisekh should have lived happily and it wasnt impossible to make both Abhisekh & Neha meet and live together.

Last part was messed compltely.

Anonymous said...

that was good reading
Regards

Swati said...

Looking forward for a new Ultra-Romantic fiction as u are too good at it.
Regards

Anonymous said...

that was good read
Regards

Ria said...

That was nice reading.
Regards

Rohit Sharma said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rashmi said...

Hope to see some fiction posts soon. u r good both at english and hindi, and poem n fiction are equally well. Ur poems touch heart and fiction emotions n raise some romance in mind, heart & soul

Good Keep It Up!!
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Ritu
Thanks for some hoest & candid comments, will surely keep in mind when i write next.

Regards

अविनाश said...

@Anu
thanks a lot for some valuable 7 honest comment, will surely utilise ur sugesstion when i write next.
Regards

@Ria
Thanks for comments and appreciation
Regards

@Rashmi
Thanks and will surely write something which every one loves
Regards

Anonymous said...

nice reading all parts

अल्पना वर्मा said...

very very well written story..emotions were expressed so beautifully..
whole story was woven neatly.

I could guess somehow about the murderer but ..wanted to know how it was done?So read it till last.

I think..one can make TV Drama on this story .
congrates!

Amrita Kumari said...

liked all the parts u write well
Regards

अविनाश said...

@alpana verma
Thanks ma'am 4 ur valuable comment
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Amrita
Thanks 4 ur comment
Regards

Ruchika Mittal said...

loved reading all the parts sir
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Ruchika
Thx for reading the fiction n ur valuable comment
Regards

Dr.Rita Raman said...

read all parts together it was marathon read but worth...u made my day
Good writting skill

Dr. Gunjan Gehlot said...

oh lovely romantic srory....u r a good writer
End cud surely have been better

Dr.Ruchika Rastogi said...

loved reading all the parts, was well written, i think there was other option also than killing puja
Regards

Kanupriya said...

First scene was good this description of motherhood was outstanding
think u choosed the middle path when u sorted ended the story, it would have been better if it was in extreme ends rather than this moderate end, by extreme i mean bringing all 4 in places or killing all like othello. since fiction is conventional writing so happy ending would have been good.

Trisha Pandey said...

read all the part, couldnt believe u wrote fiction fot the first time it was well written, just d end but it was lovely reading

Regards

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