tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post4038866675086061818..comments2023-07-05T21:20:00.918+05:30Comments on Avinash- The Pariah...Then there was you: Divorce: Concluding Part (Doomsday conspiracy)अविनाशhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comBlogger118125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-54857636223801149442009-02-13T14:27:00.000+05:302009-02-13T14:27:00.000+05:30read it & liked itread it & liked itDavid O. Brinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08326286773155507530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-49864009483609384902009-02-12T15:56:00.000+05:302009-02-12T15:56:00.000+05:30read all the part, couldnt believe u wrote fiction...read all the part, couldnt believe u wrote fiction fot the first time it was well written, just d end but it was lovely reading<BR/><BR/>RegardsTripti Pandeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07342591966673276449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-32157151518335861992009-02-10T19:33:00.000+05:302009-02-10T19:33:00.000+05:30First scene was good this description of motherhoo...First scene was good this description of motherhood was outstanding<BR/> think u choosed the middle path when u sorted ended the story, it would have been better if it was in extreme ends rather than this moderate end, by extreme i mean bringing all 4 in places or killing all like othello. since fiction is conventional writing so happy ending would have been good.Parulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15833314831547681456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-24537968959787823732009-02-10T14:06:00.000+05:302009-02-10T14:06:00.000+05:30loved reading all the parts, was well written, i t...loved reading all the parts, was well written, i think there was other option also than killing puja<BR/>RegardsDr.Ruchika Rastogihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16091006441432826360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-11638115801725478242009-02-09T05:52:00.000+05:302009-02-09T05:52:00.000+05:30oh lovely romantic srory....u r a good writerEnd c...oh lovely romantic srory....u r a good writer<BR/>End cud surely have been betterDr. Gunjan Gehlothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02221388635432491910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-34350520138778407672009-02-07T21:46:00.000+05:302009-02-07T21:46:00.000+05:30read all parts together it was marathon read but w...read all parts together it was marathon read but worth...u made my day<BR/>Good writting skillDr.Ragini Rastogihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745893574792875920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-2732800879323249202009-02-02T12:38:00.000+05:302009-02-02T12:38:00.000+05:30@RuchikaThx for reading the fiction n ur valuable ...@Ruchika<BR/>Thx for reading the fiction n ur valuable comment<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-38859795516115353022009-01-28T14:57:00.000+05:302009-01-28T14:57:00.000+05:30loved reading all the parts sirRegardsloved reading all the parts sir<BR/>RegardsRuchika Mittalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09975252247669629153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-52195964463195079182009-01-27T17:25:00.000+05:302009-01-27T17:25:00.000+05:30@AmritaThanks 4 ur commentRegards@Amrita<BR/>Thanks 4 ur comment<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-48641252305529428982009-01-27T17:24:00.000+05:302009-01-27T17:24:00.000+05:30@alpana vermaThanks ma'am 4 ur valuable commentReg...@alpana verma<BR/>Thanks ma'am 4 ur valuable comment<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-46964759149143988842009-01-27T16:37:00.000+05:302009-01-27T16:37:00.000+05:30liked all the parts u write wellRegardsliked all the parts u write well<BR/>RegardsAmrita Kumarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00336265653827676556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-74734853405374721542009-01-25T12:01:00.000+05:302009-01-25T12:01:00.000+05:30very very well written story..emotions were expres...very very well written story..emotions were expressed so beautifully..<BR/>whole story was woven neatly.<BR/><BR/>I could guess somehow about the murderer but ..wanted to know how it was done?So read it till last.<BR/><BR/>I think..one can make TV Drama on this story .<BR/>congrates!Alpana Vermahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08360043006024019346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-22083978289064225212009-01-25T09:21:00.000+05:302009-01-25T09:21:00.000+05:30nice reading all partsnice reading all partsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-56682162499153504372009-01-25T00:42:00.000+05:302009-01-25T00:42:00.000+05:30@Anuthanks a lot for some valuable 7 honest commen...@Anu<BR/>thanks a lot for some valuable 7 honest comment, will surely utilise ur sugesstion when i write next. <BR/>Regards<BR/><BR/>@Ria<BR/>Thanks for comments and appreciation<BR/>Regards<BR/><BR/>@Rashmi<BR/>Thanks and will surely write something which every one loves<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-63816311338689048932009-01-25T00:40:00.000+05:302009-01-25T00:40:00.000+05:30@RituThanks for some hoest & candid comments, ...@Ritu<BR/>Thanks for some hoest & candid comments, will surely keep in mind when i write next.<BR/><BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-44429883656520020412009-01-25T00:04:00.000+05:302009-01-25T00:04:00.000+05:30Hope to see some fiction posts soon. u r good both...Hope to see some fiction posts soon. u r good both at english and hindi, and poem n fiction are equally well. Ur poems touch heart and fiction emotions n raise some romance in mind, heart & soul<BR/><BR/>Good Keep It Up!!<BR/>RegardsRadhikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06224505871640863938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-91804837998425311462009-01-25T00:01:00.000+05:302009-01-25T00:01:00.000+05:30This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Rohit Sharmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10346380388859850396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-78303708233684358692009-01-24T23:58:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:58:00.000+05:30That was nice reading.RegardsThat was nice reading.<BR/>RegardsRuchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11900514750519225187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-43311163803276033082009-01-24T23:57:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:57:00.000+05:30that was good readRegardsthat was good read<BR/>RegardsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-81494155441169201942009-01-24T23:53:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:53:00.000+05:30Looking forward for a new Ultra-Romantic fiction a...Looking forward for a new Ultra-Romantic fiction as u are too good at it.<BR/>RegardsSwatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04357262104161379403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-39693561309434254412009-01-24T23:51:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:51:00.000+05:30that was good readingRegardsthat was good reading<BR/>RegardsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-4349090717072908942009-01-24T23:45:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:45:00.000+05:30Description was overdone at times, some where it a...Description was overdone at times, some where it appeared that it was more of narrated story than a fiction. Conversation and narration should have well balance or i should say proportion should have been balance with more emphasis on conversation and less on narration.<BR/><BR/>And in fiction writting u sud be knowing about the reader following you, the happy ending is what every one loves or othello ending as suggested by Ritu.<BR/><BR/>Every story has a message, i think u messed up with this as one of the 2 commiting sin was punished while other escaped white collared. If the message was that when u do wrong u are punished than both Rajeev and Puja should have been punished. The message was not at all conveyed.<BR/><BR/>Also one possible end was punishing both un-loyal i.e, Rajeev & Puja and loyal ones i.e, Neha & Abhisekh should have lived happily and it wasnt impossible to make both Abhisekh & Neha meet and live together.<BR/><BR/>Last part was messed compltely.Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13007399246152816542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-34723623463252408002009-01-24T23:24:00.000+05:302009-01-24T23:24:00.000+05:30I think u choosed the middle path when u sorted en...I think u choosed the middle path when u sorted ended the story, it would have been better if it was in extreme ends rather than this moderate end, by extreme i mean bringing all 4 in places or killing all like othello. since fiction is conventional writing so happy ending would have been good.<BR/><BR/>Also, since u were narrating the story & not part of it, so it would been in one tense, in some places u mixed both path tense & present tense in same scene or part. <BR/><BR/>Also since story was not too long description and narration should/could have been smaal & you should have been focussed on attaching one part to another in sequence. Narration was reuired only at 2 or max 3 place, rest should have been sequence.<BR/><BR/>At some parts there was grammatical mistakes, so you should in making les mistakes and do editing twice befoe publishing.<BR/><BR/>Over all since u wrote for 1st time it was good. I am sure you will improve. Looking forward to more.<BR/><BR/>All the best wishes<BR/>RegardsRituhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10937592275203106038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-1272221465772235522009-01-24T18:14:00.001+05:302009-01-24T18:14:00.001+05:30@jyotiThanks for reading , comment,appreciatin and...@jyoti<BR/>Thanks for reading , comment,appreciatin and supportive words.<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7452027641017725467.post-69962739775067251872009-01-24T18:14:00.000+05:302009-01-24T18:14:00.000+05:30@RaginiThanks Rags for us read,comments & sugg...@Ragini<BR/>Thanks Rags for us read,comments & suggestions.<BR/>Will surely keep the suggestion in mind when i write next time.<BR/>Regardsअविनाशhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07179380257537462601noreply@blogger.com