Why? (FLASHBACK I)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

His fair face was all black with white foam coming out of his mouth, clad in his black t shirt, which his mother gifted him on his last birthday. He was hanging form his ceiling fan, book still open on his desk, light was still on; his sleeper was still under his table waiting to put its owner's feet on it, not knowing Manish will never put his feet on it. We will never be able to hear his loud laugh which made everyone smile. Campus will never see again the strongly built and electronic project master anymore. Manish ended his life two days back leaving us in deep sorrow.
It was a day after results were announced, some were happy, other just satisfied, other were just low. Manish Mishra of E& T scored 6.5 CGPA was lowest in his branch, not wasn’t lowest enough to end his life. I t was rainy after noon, when we get back after new education year, and we were tired. Manish door remained closed all day, we thought he isn’t well. And was taking rest. Some of his branch mate tried to woke him up in the morning, but when Manish didn’t opened the door, they left for the class but later in afternoon , when door was still closed his branch mates started knocking the door continuously . As I was in adjoining room of Manish, I also woked up
“What happened” why you are all banging the door “I said.
”Manish isn't opening his door “- Manoj said.
”He must be sleeping” I said.
"He didn’t attend his classes" Nagesh said.
"For how long he would sleep"Raj added.
“Is it so? He didn’t attend his class " I said.
”No he didn't "- Manoj said, his voice chocked in his throat.
We desperately tried to open his door and then we realized we should inform warden. “Shall we call Jain sir (warden) Deepak said?” "yes” - Raj said and rushed to the ground floor.
Jain sir came and saw the locked room and knocked onto it. Then he left, when he came back Dean of student affair and director along with local police were along with them. Police broke the door and our worst fear came true, Manish was found hanging. Deepak and Manoj screamed and cried we all did. Police recovered suicide note from his pocket which said he ended his life because of poor results and no one was responsible for it and also said sorry to his parents and younger sister. There parents were informed by police on behalf of college. Police took the body for post mortem.
Life and god has strange way of realizing that lots of things don’t lie in our hands. The whole campus was completely shocked and in complete grief after the news spread. After the police department, we were standing here and there, some were in the balcony, some were in my room, and there were 100 of students standing in the same floor. There was a pin drop silence in the hostel, Manoj cried a lot that day, it wasn’t sinking that Manish is no more. Even now also I can’t hold my pen as my hands are shivering.
When Manish mother came, she wasn't crying, she had blank expression on her face, his father cried and looked lost and shocked, Manish sister Jyoti couldn't hold her tears. His mother fainter and was rushed to hospital. They performed the last rites in Haridwar. We lost a friend, it will take some time for all of us to realise Mainish is no more.
AFTERMATH: For some reason, the hostel was in complete silence for a complete day or so. , we couldn’t concentrate on our studies, for that matter anything. There wasn't any buzz in the mess, coffee house or in playground. We tried our best to divert our mind form what happened two weeks back, but failed miserably. Manoj would just keep quiet and preferred to remain lonely all the time ., Rohit wouldn’t talk to anyone, Raj would just sit in the balcony most part of the night , so could smoker all night, Vivek wouldn’t have his meals ,and attend classes regularly ,despite several warning from DOSA, All his jokes were missing . Hostel warden wouldn’t say anything to us, and would come to hostel every night to ask us about our well being,
Everything changed after Manish left us, for all of us he is still alive in our heart, thought and mind, I just sat and
Thought is 6.5.CGPA is that bad percentage that Manish ended his life. Why he did like this? He could have talked with us, parents. what made him do this , there was millions of questions which penetrated everyone’s mind, leaving us more confused and clueless, we never came to knew what happened that night , he was mentally very strong and his parents were supportive and never demanded high percentage form Manish. His sister is a sweet one and cared for Manish a lot. his father was like his friend and I knew his family since class VIII, I grew up playing cricket and volleyball, discussing moths and physics, flying kites in summer vacations. It was very difficult for me to digest that incident , How can life be so cruel to someone like Manish, why I god did like this , more I think , more I think moor eye get sad and depressed.
Life is strange, stranger are the ways of it ....... strangest is god’s ways to realise it.

33 comments:

Ashok said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ashok said...

dat dreadful day....stil remember

Amit said...

very emotional one..we can't understand all aspect of life...its really a mystery.

Preeti said...

it must have been tuff time 4 u all

Anonymous said...

thx 4 sharing such an experience, life is really strange

Trinaa said...

i agree with anon..life is verrrrrrrrry strange..

Anonymous said...

well written ,nice conclusion

Kartz said...

Sorry to hear about your friend. Reminds me of a poem I wrote not too long ago... Suicide... Does it *have* to be a solution?

Peace.

---
Greetings Avinash,

Thank you for stopping by and voicing out. Keep visiting.

Peace. Be well.

Kartz.

Rohit Sharma said...

remeber avi dat dreadful day

Er. Paayal Sharma said...

still remember dat moment.....

Deepak Barua said...

I am Sorry, I really don't know what else to write.

ज़ाकिर अली ‘रजनीश’ said...

भावनाओं के सागर में हलचल मचाती रचना, बधाई।

jinksy said...

I'm impressed that you can write so graphically in the language of a foreign country; I only wish I could return the compliment and write in Hindi.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear demise of a dearly frnd your may his soul rest in peace., i guess u have given good tribute to him , good usage of words.

Anonymous said...

poignant..

Anonymous said...

sad 2 hear it

Ria said...

life is really strange

Richa Saxena said...

life is at times very strange

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