Divorce Part III (Southward movement)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Thanks every one for your good response and constructive suggestions, this is third and penultimate part, sorry could not conclude in this part as it was getting longer. Hope you will comprehend. Happy reading folks.

SCENE I: LOVE & HATE
The life was never same again for Rajeev and Neha once Puja divorced from her husband Abhisekh. Its another Sunday morning in the life of Neha and Rajeev, its 6:30am in morning sun has just started showing its face to the people, there is absolute tranquil in the room as Neha sleeps with quilt on her, long curly hair of hers is all over the pillow and she looks stunning even while sleeping, three years into marriage she still looks college young at 26 years of age. Her face is half covered with coverlet as she rests on the bed. A glass of water lies on a table on the side of bed with a small night lamp and few magazines over it. Suddenly a bang sound wakes her up, she opens her eye, looks in amusement here and there, then realizes she is in her room only and the sound was off news paper hitting the window, she changes her side only to find Rajeev missing from the bed. Its not usual as he wakes up late on Sunday, she gets off bed all of a sudden looking for her dear husband Neha: “Raj! Raj! Where are you?” She finally smells cigarette and takes a deep breath as she locates him in adjoining room, sitting in an arm chair with cigarette in his hand and ash just attached to cigarette, which showed he just lit it and got lost in his thought and forget to take a puff.

She slowly moves closer to him and utters: “Raj”
He waked up only to realize that he forget what he was doing.
He says: “yes”
Neha:” what happened so early up in morning you left from bed and smoking also?”
Rajeev putting cigarette in the ash tray: “nothing just waked up early so thought not to disturb you”
Neha:” but why you waked up so early , are you ok” put her hand on his head, slightly moving her soft fingers in over his hair, probably trying to show her love, Neha knew that Rajeev has been moving away from him, and she needed to take care of him.
Rajeev: ” I am fine, holding Neha’s hand and probably realizing that it’s her only who stood by him for so many years and supported him for all the bad times.
Neha: “you want to have tea? Shall I get it for you” and sits on his lap”
Rajeev: “ok,” as she kisses on her forehead Neha must not have felt any kiss of his so loving, as a dazzling smile comes on her face.
Rajeev: “now make tea fast” Neha leaves to kitchen and starts her day with a smile after a loving gesture from her hubby. She gets betrothed in the kitchen as Rajeev sits and reads the newspaper, mobile rings a new message was received on his phone. He picks it up and starts reading the long SMS, as neha comes out with tea and sits at the side of Rajeev, bearing in mind this Rajeev switches off phone
Neha: “who's SMS so early up on Sunday?”
Rajeev: “No one” Neha: “I heard the sound of your cell SMS”
Rajeev: “Nothing significant” as he picks up the tea cup.
Neha: “I hope its not that bloody bitch Puja”
Rajeev: “What sort of lingo you are speaking? Cant u trust me?”
Neha: “Ok show me your mobile, let me see what you are onto these days?”
Rajeev, fumes with antagonism and bangs the phone on the flooring, its conked out into pieces & he screams: “see it now!!”
Neha:“I knew you lied, its her only, isn’t it?”
Rajeev bangs both tea cups on the floor and shouts, louder this time: “yes its what you have to do with it?”
Neha: “I have everything to do; I am your wife, why you couldn’t tell its Puja's SMS only. Whats the point hiding?”, as she picks up broken pieces of mobile & cups.
Rajeev: “why you don’t trust me? Why you are trying to spy on me? Don’t make my life a nightmare, please”
Neha: “yes hell, because I cant be a mother, I cant give you child she sits on the bed as tears fell down from her big eyes and they go red.

Tears, yes tears friends, women best bludgeon, noxious than a worst chemical bomb of world, it can make one feel bad and good. And Rajeev is no different he soon realizes that he has got to be calm as she knew that person who is committing blunder either shouts or remains completely hushed, Rajeev was doing former. He tries to soothe her and moves towards her & put his hand on her shoulder
“See I am with you, we are married and kid is not my main concern, we will visit Doctor again and I know it will be sorted out”
Neha getting rid of his hand from her shoulder and says in anger : “ do what you wish to do, but remember that I am not going to give up and I know that Puja and you have some thing cooking between both of you otherwise there is no reason to lie”
Rajeev loses his temper yet again and says: “fine think whatever you can”
He moves out with their pet, a small bulldog, and says: “I am going for morning walk, shut the door”
Neha lies on bed, lost in her thought and thinks what went erroneous in their relationship, is that because that she cant be a mother? Or is Puja more striking than her? Why Rajeev is moving away from him? Why he behaves so brusquely? Lots of feelings come in her mind and tears just keep flowing from her eyes, she keeps on lying on bed. The day which started with a loving kiss has now turned into pungent quarrel, she was so joyful few moments back and now she sat alone in tears, wondering what went wrong?

SCENE II: SUSPICION IN THE AIR
Neha was just back from her office and finds that Rajeev hasn’t reached home up till now, she enters the house changes her cloth gets fresh and makes tea for herself, thinks of calling Rajeev up then aborts the thought, goes to kitchen and starts preparing the dinner by the time she finishes it was 10:30pm and now she gets apprehensive and decides to call Rajeev up, phone rings numerous times and he doesn’t picks it up, she calls his office and comes to know that he left office on his accustomed time at 6pm she sits and thinks, is it traffic? But then reconsiders her thought its 45 minutes from here how come so late? She tries his phone again, but in vain. She switches on TV and get lost in her thought instead of watching the TV. There is tedious silence in the room, as tea lies on the table half consumed, a huge picture of lady waiting hangs on the wall adjoining the TV, she sits alone and gazes at picture, all of a sudden she is perturbed by the sound of calling bell, she goes out and opens the door, its Rajeev, she breathes easy after seeing him. He changes up and get ready for dinner.

Neha asks him: “so late today?”
Rajeev avoiding eye contact says: “yes lots of work at office, a new project has just started” Neha: “ok, when u left from office?”
Rajeev: “an hour back” Neha knows that he is lying but avoids further interrogation as they were having meal, she says: “hmmm”

For next few minutes, till they complete meal and get ready to retire for the bed, neha doesn’t utter a single word and just goes on with her work and goes to bed as Rajeev watches TV and later joins her on the bed.
Rajeev: “slept off?”
Neha: “ naah”
Rajeev: “Then so quiet today?”
Neha: “ nothing, you know better”
Rajeev: “ what I know”
Neha” that why I am quiet?”
Rajeev: “ What ? I am not getting you?”
Neha: “ Leave it Rajeev”
Rajeev: “ no, tell me” Neha:” Don’t act smart, u were not in office till 8pm u left at 6pm, didn’t you?”
Rajeev knew he was caught again and tries to elucidate: “ I have an out door meeting with a client, so I went out of office”
Neha: “ leave it, I don’t want to discus all these”

Both lie down on bed with their back facing each other, Neha now is sure that she is losing Rajeev by every passing day, and she needs to do something before its too late, she has to do some thing, what she has no clue, but she was sure of one thing that she needed to act fast. While Rajeev: on the other side knew that Neha has enough clue by now and its high time that she executes the plan he made with Puja. Deadly silence continues in the room as not even a soul moved that night, suspicion, mistrust, hate and some conspiracy wandered round the room as life partners slept like strangers in the room.

SCENE III ROMANCE IN THE AIR
It’s a beautiful sunset in the Collangute beach of Goa, the red light of sun is reflected over the sea. People are having some great enjoyment in one of the most striking beach in India, some are enjoying para-sailing, some are enjoying boat ride while other sit and take pleasure in seeing their kids playing on the beach. Sun, sand & sea excites love & romance even in dullest of people. Its one place where you let your love buds go free. Puja and Rajeev have just completed a banana ride and sit one of the sea side restaurants as sound of open air disco plays some good party numbers behind them. Puja is drenched in saline water and enjoys a glass of scotch with Rajeev, her wet hair falls on her face she looks gorgeous and her blue eyes adds to the beauty nicely complimented by the bold diamond earrings which Rajeev got for him on her last birthday. Rajeev meanwhile is putting on boxers and muscle T, sits right in front of her as they had long eye contact, romance fills up the place and their heart, with few peg of scotch sinking in they feel the urge to have walk on the beach, Rajeev wants to have a walk and Puja agrees. Both go for walk holding hand as sun is about to bid bye to the beautiful romantic day.

Rajeev holding puja’s hand: “ Its such a nice place, I simply like visiting this beautiful beach”
Puja: “yes, even I do like this beautiful places, its so exciting here, see the sun setting down, it looks stunningly beautiful”
Rajeev: “takes out the camera and takes the picture of setting sun”
Puja: “how about going back to hotel, I am feeling uneasy as saline water has dried down; I need to take fresh water bath”

Both leave for hotel after few minute of walk down the beach as sun has given way to darkness. They reach hotel after few minutes of walk down the happening streets of Goa.
In the hotel both finished bath and sit by the side of window which overlooks the swimming pool and some well decorated Christmas tree and Santa Claus stands tall overlooking the happening city. Inside the hotel is one huge picture of half covered lady trying to get her sari in place as it falls down over her sleeveless top. A huge plasma TV hangs on the pink wall of the room with some romantic numbers playing on it. The floors is covered with beautiful Scottish carpet, a white metallic statue is in one of the corner of the room, bed is covered with light blue sheet with some pink flowers over it, a huge chandelier hangs on the ceiling of the large five star luxurious room.

Rajeev: “ so how you feeling now”
Puja: “Much better, saline water can induce etching and at times damages skin also”
Rajeev: “Ok, I didn’t felt anything of that sort.”
Puja holding Rajeev’s hand and sitting on the arm rest of his chair: “so when we will be living with authorization together, you need to get rid of the bitch, I hope she is not spying on you. What if she comes to know about this trip? You have told that you are in Bangalore for some office work. Isn’t it?”
Rajeev: “ yes, but I don’t think she is going to divorce me, we have to work out something else” Puja: “Have u ever said her that you want divorce?” Rajeev: “no, I don’t have any reason for saying so”
Puja: “she can’t be mother isn’t it?. That should be enough reason for the legal separation” Rajeev: “ it’s not that easy, convincing her is some task”
Puja: “ we need to act fast, I can’t live like this, without you for any more”

Both continue talking as some plans are being made, some plans which don’t echo even by the wall of the room, some conspiracy is being done, dooms day conspiracy for the loyal wife and her more loyal love. Some thing that works in their mind they abort it and then think over again and again and finally reach to a point from where they have to act from here onwards, silence returns once they finish talking both seemed to be happy after prolonged talks as smile return back on the face of Puja. She is putting a light pink gown, which compliments her stunning beauty, at 30 she doesn’t looks like mother of two kids, she is one beautiful lady with cunning of fox. She lies on the long sofa Rajeev sits on the side of it watching TV as some talks go on. Call bell rings, Rajeev gets up and sees the hotel staff looking for dinner order, he says after some time we will order. He comes back and ask puja to make a drink, a scotch, both sit and drink as smell of scotch engulfs the room, puja gets up after just one peg and decides that she is not going to take any more so does Rajeev but after few extra pegs. She combs her long ,loved hair and adores herself in front of Rajeev, he hugs her and puts her back to the wall, kissing her all over the neck and face, she holds her tight and bites his ear and plays with him, tickling him at times, Rajeev starches her hand and puts his hand over it, to the wall as they continue love making. Love soon ignites the room, as they lie on floor and get lost yet again. The love making lasts for several minutes as they finally shift to bed, after few moments puja is covered entirely with utter romance as Rajeev plays with ice cube and her nicely curved physique. After sometime, they both lie down, Rajeev is lying with back to the roof as puja lie over his back with her long hair all over Rajeev’s back, and Rajeev is in sleep as he consumed few extra pegs than Puja. Puja had one so she is very much awoke. She tickles him with her nose, but he doesn’t replies. She tries again and this time Rajeev gets up and bites her as both burst into laughter.

Puja lying on his lap slowly moving her fingers over his belly: “ You jungle, drunkard, took so much that you slept off, never take too many drinks before all these”
Rajeev holds her further and say: “ok, you stunning beauty, you seem to be still urging for more”
Puja: “ aah!!, is it you feel so?”
Rajeev: "yup"
Puja: “ naah, I am hungry let’s have some food”

Rajeev agrees and orders some sea food and they wait for dinner, still talking and loving each other. After some time food is delivered and they eat together, feeding each other like newly wed couple. Enjoying each other company. They finish the dine and go for some more love making as rooms shifts into darkness, with blue light glowing like full moon in that romantic night.

SCENE IV DEATH LURKS HERE, WAITING, WAITING…..
After a month Neha has an adequate amount of hint that her hubby is in extra martial affair with puja and she decides to take some action as she lingers for Rajeev to return home as she sits in the room waiting and waiting. She sees the time its 11pm yet again and she decides to leave home, where? She knows it. She takes her car keys and rushes to parking lot of the apartment and takes her Honda city and zooms fast outside the gate driving like a crazy lady as she drive on the roads lots of thought crosses her mind, she reaches a house bangs the door with her fist, a lady opens the door after numerous minutes of knocking. Wearing a lower and small figure hugging T-shirt. It’s Puja the owner of the flat.
Neha tries to enquire about Rajeev and asks her where is he? She tries to keep her at door but she rushes in. But could not find Rajeev there, as he escaped from back door, once he heard the Neha’s voice.
She shout on puja almost bully her and says :”You know where he is?, let me know” Puja: “ How would I know about him, you are his wife you are supposed to know better”
Neha, still standing “ don’t act smart, I know you are aware about his where bouts, you bloody bitch, you ruined your own life and now you are after mine, I am warning you, for the first and last time otherwise you will regret”
Puja: “ You better mind your language, and don’t shout at my place”
Neha gets louder this time: “ place my foot!, I will cut you in pieces and feed to scavengers, don’t try to be smart, you can’t take him from me, you better don’t even try to”
Puja: “ Why I will take him from you, he is not a kid he is matured enough to decide what is right for him, what have you given to him?, not even a kid”
Neha gets hyper after listening this and pulls out her licensed GERMAN MAUSER REICHSREVOLVER 1879 CAVALRY and put the points in between her eyes: “ you don’t have any idea what I can do, you better stay away from him, otherwise you will regret doing all these, I won’t even think once before I shoot you down”
Seeing the gun point in the middle of her forehead Puja gets scared:” ahh, that is what you can do, try to get him by love, if you can”
Neha” yes I will but before that I will shoot you down”
Puja moves her hand and get rid of gun from her fore head: “ you should leave, I don’t want to talk to you”
Neha, putting her revolver back and says: "I wont be giving you second chance, so still you have time , get your acts right”

Neha leaves puja’s places and reaches her home to find Rajeev there and screams on him: “ so you are here, where you have been?”
Rajeev says in a low voice” office work, where were you?”
Neha: “ I know your office work and your intentions” Rajeev trying to act smart: “ what’s wrong with you?, why you are fuming with anger”
Neha” Raj please leave me alone, you please leave me, I don’t want to talk to you any more, please go away from here” she shouts as her voice gets chocked in her throat, and she bursts into tears, and sits on the chair, covering her face with her hand, and tries to hide his tears from Rajeev, he slowly moves closer to her probably not realizing that she is carrying his Mauser in her purse, he put his hand on her head, trying to console her.
Neha screams this time “Raj!!! Cant u leave me, please I am in no mood to talk to you now”, she says as tears flow down from her eyes and nose, eye, both go red out of shear anger
Rajeev: “ what happened why you so angry? Whets wrong with you?”
Neha, still crying “everything is wrong about me, as I can’t give you a child, so you go one hunting woman”
Rajeev: “what you mean to say?” Neha leaves the place and goes to bed room and locks the room and shuts the light off.

Child was never a cause behind this extra martial affair as both were young and Neha was undergoing treatment for same and Dr said she will soon be able to get pregnant. But the exact reason was some thing best known to Rajeev and puja, almost certainly interest in others more than own spouse was reason behind it. Neha has always been compassionate and loving to Rajeev and balanced the professional & personal life. So Rajeev gets to act and comprehend that Neha loves her before it gets too late.



TO BE CONTINUED...
wait before mystery unfolds

77 comments:

tripti said...

Very well written !!

Swati said...

oh wat a read.this time it was perfect like first part, all the scens were dealt nicely....
again romantic part stands out, loved reading it, such a nice read..waiting 4 concluding pasrt sir
regards

Ritu said...

much better this time sir, the goa beach was described with perfection so was the feu scene, romance as usual was outstanding...over all it made a fantastic resding
Regards

Ritu said...

keep going hats off 2 u

Mehnaaz said...

liked the descrption of tears, bitter but very true, beauty of Goa was described in a nice way, yet again readingthe romanitic part was best,
Equally well was 2nd scene. Better of all d parts. Lovely reading Regards

Shalini Chopra said...

that was great reading, emotiona at times and at times utter romantic, agree wid Mehnaaz dat it was best of all d 3 parts. The gun scene was described best, romance again was beautiful

Gr8 reading sir
Regards

Richa Saxena said...

liked it most, everything was right. the revolver scene was described nicely, yet again romance stood out but the 2bd scene was best,wondering hw it will end
lovely reading it sir
regards

Tracy said...

lovely reading it.
Liked the tear and romantic part most, Description of Goa was perfect, best of all the parts...description b4 every scen was best than 2nd part, u didnt rushed in any part so that made long post but at the end was worth reading...
Waiting 4 last part
Regards

Anonymous said...

lovey reading all d parts
Regards

Tulip Banerjee said...

wat a writting skill
The neha & puja fite was purfect, Hotel room description was 2 good & yet again romantic scene stood out from rest but u did justice to all the scnes in this part...good reading all
Regards

Anonymous said...

that was lovely reading
regards

Ria said...

while reading i thot u will kill pujs in this part but u didnt....it was amzing description of fight beteen puja & neha, the goa beauty was descrobed woth perfection and the hotel romance and its interiors narration was too godd....

liked the suspense u created in few scenes like rajeev missing in very first scene...still the suspense remians thats y readers are intrested
Nice read
Regards

Anonymous said...

read all the parts, must say this was best of all
Regards

Rohit Sharma said...

achha likh raha tu to..sahi hai maamu
Lage raho

Ria Taneja said...

suspense was created in quantums and overall suspense in the story still remains.
The description goa's beauty was good, every thing came in front of mind. The moment eye read that Neha pulls out gun i thought puja's days are over, but u again dealt wid it nicely. The enitire fiction is very well written. The dilemna of Rajeev and Neha while sleeping was very nicel and successfully described.

Nice Read. Looking forward for next part.
Regards

Anonymous said...

Gr8 read
Regards

Shreya Rajput said...

that was really good read these lines were too good:-

While Rajeev: on the other side knew that Neha has enough clue by now and its high time that she executes the plan he made with Puja. Deadly silence continues in the room as not even a soul moved that night, suspicion, mistrust, hate and some conspiracy wandered round the room as life partners slept like strangers in the room.


Liked the way description was done in every scene,

Good keep it Uo!!
Regards

Anonymous said...

gr8 read

Anonymous said...

all the parts weere equally godd but this one was best of three.
Regards

Austeen Sufi said...

oh..u are such a nice writer!..really liked the way u wrote the description before every scene. Doesnt seems u are writting it for first times.
This description was best as suspense wascreated in these lines:-


A glass of water lies on a table on the side of bed with a small night lamp and few magazines over it. Suddenly a bang sound wakes her up, she opens her eye, looks in amusement here and there, then realizes she is in her room only and the sound was off news paper hitting the window, she changes her side only to find Rajeev missing from the bed. Its not usual as he wakes up late on Sunday, she gets off bed all of a sudden looking for her dear husband Neha: “Raj! Raj! Where are you?” She finally smells cigarette and takes a deep breath as she locates him in adjoining room, sitting in an arm chair with cigarette in his hand and ash just attached to cigarette, which showed he just lit it and got lost in his thought and forget to take a puff.


Good one Regards

Rashmi said...

while evryone complined about the second scene of second aprt being less desriptive, u came out with a bang, thats nice that u keep readers advise in ur mind. U improved as was visible in Goa scene, it wa sthroughly well described so was the first scene

But must say u r best with romance, even though u improved rest but u furtehr improved ur romance writting skills, hats off 2 u and thx 4 sharing such a lovely story

Regards

Preeti said...

that was lovely reading, best of all three parts, descriptions at some point of the scene was too good, excellent writting skills,it had everything suspense,love,hate anger...all human emotions

This SD i liked most:-
Neha lies on bed, lost in her thought and thinks what went erroneous in their relationship, is that because that she cant be a mother? Or is Puja more striking than her? Why Rajeev is moving away from him? Why he behaves so brusquely? Lots of feelings come in her mind and tears just keep flowing from her eyes, she keeps on lying on bed. The day which started with a loving kiss has now turned into pungent quarrel, she was so joyful few moments back and now she sat alone in tears, wondering what went wrong?

EXCELLENT
KEEP IT UP!!
Regards

Dr. Palki Vajpayee said...

That was good read, honesly when i read the First part i thought its a humorous Fiction and took it lightly, when read other2 parts, specially this one, then realised its damnn serious and nice, This part is best of 3 aprts

In this part u dealt with each and every scene and human emotions vvery nicely

And i must say u sud consider urself 4 Romantic nove as ur Romanic writting skils are fablous.

Keep it Up !!
REGARDS

Anonymous said...

that was great reading, all the parts
Regards

Anonymous said...

excellent writting skills

Dr. Neha Srivastav said...

that was excellent reading. Liked the way u caught with very human emotions. Loved the way u prsented romance and hate. This is best of all the parts.

This one i lked most
It’s a beautiful sunset in the Collangute beach of Goa, the red light of sun is reflected over the sea. People are having some great enjoyment in one of the most striking beach in India, some are enjoying para-sailing, some are enjoying boat ride while other sit and take pleasure in seeing their kids playing on the beach. Sun, sand & sea excites love & romance even in dullest of people. Its one place where you let your love buds go free. Puja and Rajeev have just completed a banana ride and sit one of the sea side restaurants as sound of open air disco plays some good party numbers behind them. Puja is drenched in saline water and enjoys a glass of scotch with Rajeev, her wet hair falls on her face she looks gorgeous and her blue eyes adds to the beauty nicely complimented by the bold diamond earrings which Rajeev got for him on her last birthday. Rajeev meanwhile is putting on boxers and muscle T, sits right in front of her as they had long eye contact, romance fills up the place and their heart, with few peg of scotch sinking in they feel the urge to have walk on the beach, Rajeev wants to have a walk and Puja agrees. Both go for walk holding hand as sun is about to bid bye to the beautiful romantic day.


WELL WRITTEN
Regards

Dr.Nishi Chauhan said...

wow!! superp writting skills liked it alot, much improvement than last part, all the aspects u covered and dealt nicely this time, liked romantic part yet again.

अविनाश said...

@swati
Thanks, i hope i caught up with ur coplian as suggested by in the mail, thx 4 constructive siggestions and comment
Regards

अविनाश said...

@ritu
Thanks for the sugesstion for the 2nd part, wanted to make all the drama more descriptive so tried it out thnaks that u liked it.
Regards

अविनाश said...

@ria
Thanks , aah cant kill her so esily
:-)
Regards

अविनाश said...

@austin sufi
Thxfriens 4 ur valuable comments andsuggestion
Regards

अविनाश said...

@tulip
Thanks 2 u for appreciating and encouraging mail, hope u gt wat u were looking for, sorry culdnt end here as last part was also long, didnt wanted 2 cut short the last part
Regards

Puja said...

AAH avinash u almost killed Puja,
Nice reading, best of all the parts, dont make the end too predictable, as u reflected in this part, do some thing which no 1 is predicting and come out with some outstanding concluding part.

Liked all the scens.Good wrtng.
Take care

Anonymous said...

good one best of all three
Regards

Anonymous said...

well written!!
kudos!
Rgards

Dr. Aradhna said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Er. Nidhi Mishra said...

By providing gun to neha and making it point to Puja you prived how ong woman can go to get its love. That was well dramtaised scene. Liked it. You almost killed Puja.

The Goa description was outstanding, liked the way you described tha sun setting scene in the beach. It was wonderful.

The dilemna of Rajeev & Puja was perfectly scripted and written. The scene in which both are sleeping like strangers with their own thoghts was too good. Description in first scene was outstanding.

Yet again you came out with flying colours when you described hotel interiors and romance of Puja & rajeev, that was wonderfully scripted and written, liked the way you described those precious moments with amzing selection of words. Your good vocabulary was shown in many ocasions in diffrent parts of this part.

In all, it was literally best of all the Three parts and you improved a lot in just one writting. Its good you considered readers advice.

Looking forward to last part. Hope its not predictable.

Have a nice day!

अविनाश said...

@rashmi
Thanks a lot for ur encouraging wordsand suggestions about second part.
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Preeti
Thanks for your valuable comment and mail full of sugesstions and encouragement. Just was experimenting with fiction writting, no serious intentions of writting a novel as yet
thanks & Regards

अविनाश said...

@Shreya
thanks a lot dear for some good advise and constructive suggestion. Keep visiting and posting ur valuable comments
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Shalini
Thanks for your comments and good advise in ur mail. No its not as what you all have been pridicting, liked ur mail and must say u have got good vocabulary
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Tripti
Thanks for ur comments, help and suggestions
Regards

Dr. Aradhna said...

The best thing about this part was that you dealt with all the scens, emotions and charcter equally well. There was many twists in this part. At one one moment in first scene i thought Rajeev is ove, then again in one scene thought Puja days are over but u nicely suceeded in keeping the suspense.

Yet again i tend to agree with all that you are best when you describe romance, when its felt deep inside heart, it got to be kudos for writes. Hat Off to you for That.

The goa scene was described so was interiors of hetel and Rajeev-Neha's room.

Human emotions was throughly touched, be it love,anger,romance, hate and all.

In all it made lovely reading.
Reagards

Anonymous said...

nice writting skills, best of 3 parts
Good work
Keep it up
Regards

Anonymous said...

excellent sir
regards

Anonymous said...

nicely wriiten, loved reading it
Good writting skills
Regards

[Ragini]. said...

i thought i would reserve my comments till the story concludes...but ur superb writing skills have forced me to rethink... what a big crime it would be to reserve the praise for such brilliant work. with this part 3 u have certainly crossed all barriers... can't believe u r writing fiction for the first time.

really liked the way u've described the scene setting, i could imagine it all very clearly while reading it and then the goa beach, hotel scene and the anger raging in neha truly give a soul to the story. Also, like the previous two parts u've treated the romance in a very sensitive manner.

waiting for a crisp and unusual end to this wonderful piece of write-up.
Regards

Er. Snigddha Aggarwal said...

This one was best of all avinash, u created lots of suspense in quantums in diffrent scens, liked the presntation of the story and diffrent scens at difrent time.

The first scen had some breath taking moments in the very stary as i thought some thing happened to Rajeev.

In fight scene aah you almost killed Puja didnt you? that was good to.

The description in all the scens were too godd, the luxury of Five star hotel nad beauty of Goa beach was described to perfection

The tears of woman was bitter but very true, that agin was best way of telling what ie means to ma. Liked it.

Again i wgree with those who said that you have good romantic descriptive abilities, using very sober language you touched the heart of readers, thats the best part about you. Like the romantic part most as it did excited some emotions.

I had great time reading it. Hats off to you

Good work keep it up.
Regards

Anonymous said...

lovely reading all the parts
Cant wait for last chapter
Regards

अविनाश said...

@puja
Thanks for ur comment and encouragement
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Dr neha
Thanks doc
Regards

अविनाश said...

@nidhi
Thanks 4 ur mail, liked ur idea and apllied it in some plces, thaknks again
Regards

अविनाश said...

@Dr Aradhana
Thanks doc, i am happy that after cticising and puting some constructive suggestion you like this part.Thanks again
Regards.

अविनाश said...

@ragini
Thnks rags for ur tremendous support and encouraging words, ur suggestions means a lot to me. so keep me pointing out the improvements with your constructive, loving and friendly suggestion.
Regards

अविनाश said...

@ Snigdha Aggawal
Thanks sniggy for ur lovely comments
Regards

Jyoti Dixit said...

That was good reading Sir.

While first part was humoric,second one had suspense, romance and humor

Thits is best of lote as u dealt with each and evry emotions equally well.Anger in Neha, Romance in Rajeev and Puja, Emotions in neha's tears and suspense over all and in small quantums as well.

Again u are best when it comes to ramnce, felt that like most readers.

It was good description of woman tears, Goa beach and Roamntic moments in the luxurious hotel.

Just wonderinh how you will ned it. Waiting for the final part, eagerly.

Good writting skills.
Regards

Anonymous said...

wonderful reading the fiction which covered all aspects of human emotions
regards

Ashok said...

I know you 4 last 7 years now but Never knew that u have such a talent of writing fiction, Honestly i took lightly the fitsr part, then second one forced me to chnage my opinion, and now this thirsd part was really really good.

Everything was pefect in this part.Liked the description of tears wo kahte hai na" ki aurat kee aansu se Talwaar me bhi jung lag jaata hai"

Shilpi too liked it and asked me 2 say u that u sud sriously consider writting a novel, she has mailed you.


Have a nice time.
Regards

Priya Talwar said...

Thx ya for sharing your wonderful story with us. Doesnt seem you are writting fiction for first time. U wrote too well and improved with every part. With best in this one.

First part was good with humor and some suspense, second was romantic beauty, thirs has got all the ingredients and human emotions.

Liked the anger induced in Neha as she points our mauser to Puja, that part was well dramatised, liked it. The beautiful scenery of Goa was described with perfection and immensely successful one.

You came again with some extra bits with romantic part, the best thing swas I felt it as its part as i continued reading, the picture of hotel interiors reflected in my eyes. Thats reslly some thing. Liked the sweet romantic scene and every bit of it.

Cant wait for final part, i know youwont provide us of what we are expecting.

With lots of good luck and Love
Regards

Prachi Pandey said...

Too good avi. U came out all ur pen blazing in this part, firing on all cylinders. Dealt with evry part with immnese perfection and ease.

Your vocabulary is too good at times i neede dictionary, loved reading each and evry part.

The beach description was out-standing, loved it a lot, the feud with neha & puja was perfectly dramatised, with some good use of wordand imagination u brought scne right in front of eyes.

Again u r simply outstanding when it comes 2 dealing with romance, liked the way u described hotel interiors and some good moments was described with lots of imagination.

Third part stood out of rest, nive reading them.

Waiting forlast part. Hope it has got some twist in the tail.

Take care
Regards

Er. Paayal Sharma said...

nicely written avinash, good writting skills, didi missed the writer in college days? i guess so
Never knew this aspect of urs.

The third aprt was best of lots with some amazing desription of human emotions be it Anger,hate,love or romance. Tears description was best.

Liked this line most
Neha lies on bed, lost in her thought and thinks what went erroneous in their relationship, is that because that she cant be a mother? Or is Puja more striking than her? Why Rajeev is moving away from him? Why he behaves so brusquely? Lots of feelings come in her mind and tears just keep flowing from her eyes, she keeps on lying on bed. The day which started with a loving kiss has now turned into pungent quarrel, she was so joyful few moments back and now she sat alone in tears, wondering what went wrong?


Good lines. Keep it Up!!

Anonymous said...

nice reading all the three parts
Regards

Anouska Awasthi said...

that was well written
Regards

nidhi said...

very well written lke alwaz n d gud part is tht d lang is very simple n u projct it nicely
now plz break d suspence very sooon
all d bst.....

Anonymous said...

that made a good read, well written
Regards

Dr. Pragya bajaj said...

That made excellent read, it has reached a point where now predicting the end of the stort is going to be some task, cant imagine how you will end it up, dont wany to see any one die but at the same time dont know any way out of this trap thatall the characetrs have fallen into.

Will going to be very intresting last part.
Regards

Alec said...

Its great to see ur writting, i wish i could reciprocate in Hindi as you seem to be master of foregn language.

Nice fiction and intrestion stage it has reached now.
Good work.

अनु मिश्रा said...

अभी तक का सबसे बेहतरीन अध्याय, पहले दो से कही बेहतर, जहा पहले अध्याय मे व्यंग था तो दूसरे मे प्यार, रोमॅन्स, और एक . कहानी निकल कर सामने आया.
पढ़ के कही भी नही लगा की आप पहली बार काल्पनिक कहानी लिख रहे है. दृश्यो को बहुत सुंदर, सहेज़ ढंग से आपने पेश किया है. गोवा के हसीन तटो को बहुत सुंदरता और परिपक्वता से आपने सामने रखा. एक बार फीर प्यार के अनमोल पलो को आपने सबसे अच्छे तरीके से लिखा और पाठको के सामने पेश किया

अगले अध्याय का इंतज़ार रहेगा
धन्यवाद

अविनाश said...

@Anouska,Prgya,Alec,Anu & Nidhi
Thx 2 u all for precious comments
Regards.

Priya Talwar said...

Thx ya for sharing your wonderful story with us. Doesnt seem you are writting fiction for first time. U wrote too well and improved with every part. With best in this one.

Wonder how despite being a man you understand woman feeling on mother hood and wrote such lovely lines for me that was best part. Loved the way you explained the climax ant it was supposed to be long but understood.

Could'nt understand why some one like Neha Nidhi ans Snigdha couldnot under stand the last scene as in my opinon that was best dealt with in this episode. The police inetrogration was nicely executes by you avinash.

excellent writting skilss no matter what ever conclusion is, one thing you also know sir, we cant make evry one happy, this evident from readers comments

REGARDS

Dr. Gunjan Gehlot said...

this was best of all the 4 parts

Kanupriya said...

this was undoubtedly best of all 3 parts

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